i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
