She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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