Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
