So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
