I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Two words: blizzard sex
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