She just used a chaser for red wine.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
