He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
