i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
