Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
