You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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