babies were throwing up all over the place
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
