I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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