Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
