This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
