guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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