It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
