My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
My bed smells like the plague
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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