you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
