dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
