so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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