hotel room ftw
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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