Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
