People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
