I molested 6 butterflies tonight
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
