we have officially lost it.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
