awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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