The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
