The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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