I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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