You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
