someone threw a dead crab at me
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
