Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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