My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just gargled with NyQuil
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
