I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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