Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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