I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
