saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
my poor anus
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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