I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize