my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
