Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
