And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
