I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
she pinky promised me she was 18
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
