I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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