He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
