Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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