if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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