if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
