is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
