I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize