I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
