Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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