He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
