I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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