so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
