i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
