If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
