well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Randomize
