Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
