everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
