so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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